Already got asked if we're dating
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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