I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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