You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
