gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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