You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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