I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
