Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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