the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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