recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
