If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
