speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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