so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The Olympian is in my bed
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