I'm jealous of your bromance
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
