barbara walters just said penis...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
