I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
