batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
