Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
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