Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
