I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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