I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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