HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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