the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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