When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
