bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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