Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
