dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
