She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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