i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How does one acquire holy water?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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