We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
