See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
