So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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