Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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