Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
