Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
