if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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