Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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