I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
