I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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