Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
