Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
no you cant smoke seaweed
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
