also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I will pee on everything he values.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
