How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
