It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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