the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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