Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
