I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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