I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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