I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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