Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
now i know why i became what i already was.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
