all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
